All right, I’m done.
Back to this blog’s regularly schedule Mass Effect feels. At least until I find a new obsession…which is not likely to happen until ME gives me back my soul.
me: How are you today?…
customer: “tall latte”
me:
*it hurts ya know*
Turn that around for a second. I would rather have my “how are you?” ignored than receive a “how are you?” followed IMMEDIATELY by their order. Like, if you’re not going to give me the two seconds to say “I’m great” THEN DON’T BOTHER OBSERVING THE PLEASANTRY PLEASE!
what size? WHAT SIZE?!?!?!!?!?
customer: mocha frappuccino
me: what size?
customer: Mo-cha FRAPP-ooooo-CHINO
me: WHAT SIZE!!
I do not understand this phenomenon of not specifying your desired size. I’d say that like, 7 our of 10 customers don’t tell me what size they want without me asking for it. Like, how is that not the first word of your order out of your mouth???
no seriously…you don’t need extra caramel in your caramel ribbon crunch frappuccino
omg, seriously?? I thought that was the problem that god awful drink was created to address. THERE ARE FOUR KINDS OF CARAMEL IN THAT FUCKER ALREADY!
To-go is hilarious
extracaramelextragofuckyourself:
Customer: “And that’s to-go.”
Me: “OK.”
Customer: “No you didn’t hear me, I said ‘it’s to-go.”
Me: “OK Ma’am, I heard you”
Customer: “No, you were supposed to laugh, it was funny.”
Me: “Was it? Sure thing. Hah.”
If you have to tell someone you’re funny, you aren’t.
I’ve never had someone say it as a joke…sadly. It would make more sense that way. I have people legit order their shit to go. Every single time I barely resist the urge to say either “duh” or “that is our default setting.”
Your Barista Probably Hates You: Our Actual Secret Menu
Y’all ready for this shit?
So Starbucks does actually have a “secret” menu. We don’t call it that, of course, but there are drinks we are trained on that won’t show up on our menus. And I don’t mean ridiculous flavor combinations you might end up putting into a frappuccino or latte anyway but…
This must be regional. Blended strawberry lemonade is on my menu and is fucking delicious. Double shots recently returned to my menu and I can never remember how many shots they get. Smoothies….FUCK SMOOTHIES!!! (although I drink one. I feel bad about it.) You think Fraps suck???? Make a fucking smoothie!
Someone orders an “iced hot chocolate” but refuses a chocolate milk
No shit. This really happens. Pretty regularly.
Go ahead, lose your faith in humanity. It’ll be ok.
Chick the other day order on behalf of her friend an iced grande upside down extra foamy breve latte. I asked her if she meant iced cappuccino (which I don’t fucking understand in the first place) and she said no. I’m pretty sure I just stared at her, and the cup for a full thirty seconds. I DON’T KNOW HOW TO MAKE A FOAMY ICED LATTE!!!
Just discovered the Barista Problems tag.
I’m sorry guys, the flood is coming. I can’t help it. I just hate my job and unless you Tumblr Savior the shit out of this tag, you’re about to find out why.
Half of a Splenda
extracaramelextragofuckyourself:
Because a whole one is too much?
Omg, how about a third of a pump of mocha. Are you shitting me with this right now? I’ll give you your fucking half a pump but a third? Fuck no.
Oh my gosh people, be nice to your waiter/waitress, it’s not their fault that your food is cold or if it’s under cooked. Be nice to the cashiers who are still training and can’t ring up your items as quickly as you want. If a stranger smiles and says hello to you, smile and say hello back! It’s just common courtesy, I don’t understand why people have to be so rude.
AMEN
And get off your fucking phone by the time you get to the register at Sbux. Seriously. Whoever you’re talking to doesn’t want to hear your order and I have a fuck ton of questions to ask about your drink in order to make it just right so hang the fuck up for three goddamn minutes.
(via rynvasnormandy)
I’m trying to be brave
But you’re listening to everything I say
And I’m trying not to give it all away
I like to keep my cards so close
You like to keep that console on
And all my broken parts
And all my forgettable false starts
You can have them right now
But you better not look away
You can have them right now
But you better not look away
This is me trying to be brave
As far as I can tell, if something starts with ‘M’, it’s bad news
- Morgoth
- Mordred
- Mount Doom
- Darth Maul
- The Master
- Moriarty
- Morganna
Moffat
Mark Gatiss
METATRON
My emotions
Mass Effect.
Marvolo
Now you wanna say I was a criminal
Stole you away
That sounds so fictional
I did what they thought would be good for me
32 playsDo horses say hold your humans when they tell other horses to calm down
They say, “Neeeiiiiigghhhhhh!”
Humans are rather excitable…
